Skip to content
Still Their Dad

Representing yourself

Plenty of parents represent themselves, and you can do it well. You are called a litigant in person, and the judge knows you are not a lawyer. What the judge wants from you is simple: someone calm, prepared and focused on the children. You do not need legal tricks. You need to be organised and steady.

Your position statement

Section titled “Your position statement”

A position statement is a short document the judge reads at the start of a hearing so they know where you stand. Keep it to one or two pages. A simple structure works:

  1. Background: who is who, the children, and where things stand.
  2. The issues: what is actually in dispute, briefly.
  3. What you are asking for: your proposal, in plain terms.

Keep it factual and child-first. It is not the place to vent about the other parent, and a calm, reasonable statement does a lot of quiet work in your favour. It can also be your script if you freeze up.

The court bundle

Section titled “The court bundle”

The bundle is the agreed set of papers for the hearing: an index and the numbered documents everyone refers to. Normally the applicant prepares it, but if the applicant is representing themselves, the job can fall to a represented party instead. If everyone is a litigant in person, the court will tell you what it wants. Courts increasingly use electronic bundles, so check what your court expects. If in doubt, ask the court office.

Addressing the judge

Section titled “Addressing the judge”
  • A district judge or magistrates: call them “Sir” or “Madam”.
  • A circuit judge (or higher): call them “Your Honour”.

Stand up when you speak and when the judge enters, do not interrupt, and speak to the judge rather than across to the other parent.

Courtroom etiquette

Section titled “Courtroom etiquette”
  • Arrive early, dress smartly, and turn your phone off.
  • Stay calm, even if the other side provokes you. The judge is watching how you behave, and steady beats heated every time.
  • Answer the question you are asked, briefly. Do not wander into old grievances.
  • Keep coming back to the children. That is what the court cares about, so it is what you talk about.

McKenzie friends

Section titled “McKenzie friends”

A McKenzie friend is someone who comes to support you in court. You have a right to reasonable assistance from one, and they can:

  • sit with you for moral support;
  • take notes and help you stay organised;
  • quietly give you advice and suggestions.

What they cannot do, unless the judge specifically allows it, is speak for you, question witnesses, or run your case. They have no automatic right to address the court. Some McKenzie friends are free and some charge, so be careful: a paid one is not a regulated solicitor and is not insured like one. Choose carefully.

A few practical habits

Section titled “A few practical habits”
  • Keep one clear, dated file of everything (messages, the order, letters).
  • Be on time for every deadline the court sets, and do exactly what the directions say.
  • Take a notebook, and write down what is decided so you leave knowing what happens next.

Where to get real help

Section titled “Where to get real help”

Last reviewed: 15 June 2026. Court rules and practice change, so check the official links above before you rely on anything here.