School, staying in the loop

This is information, not legal advice

This explains how staying involved with your child’s school generally works in England & Wales. It can’t tell you what to do in your situation. Use the official links at the bottom for the detail.

After a separation, a lot of dads quietly drop out of the school side of things, sometimes because the letters and updates only go to one parent. You don’t have to let that happen. If you have parental responsibility, you’re entitled to be involved in your child’s education, even if the child doesn’t live with you.

What you’re entitled to

If you have parental responsibility, the school should:

• keep you informed about how your child is doing;
• send you school reports;
• tell you about parents’ evenings and school events, and let you attend;
• treat you as a parent whose views count on decisions about your child.

This applies to each person who holds parental responsibility. A school should treat both parents equally unless there’s a court order that says otherwise.

How to get added to the school’s records

Often the fix is simply that the school only has one parent’s contact details. So tell them yours. A short, polite letter or email to the school office or head teacher usually does it. There’s a ready-made letter in the templates library you can adapt: it sets out that you have parental responsibility and asks to receive the same communications and to attend parents’ evenings.

Keep it friendly and factual. Schools deal with separated families all the time, and the calm, reasonable parent is easy to help.

Decisions about school

Choosing a school, or moving a child to a different one, is a big decision. It needs the agreement of everyone with parental responsibility, not just the parent the child lives with. If you can’t agree:

• try to resolve it directly, then through mediation;
• as a last resort, either parent can ask the court for a specific issue order (to decide which school) or a prohibited steps order (to stop a move you object to).

Day-to-day school matters, like a single trip or an after-school club, are usually handled by whichever parent the child is with, but the major decisions are shared.

Keep the school out of your dispute

This matters for your child. Teachers are there for your child, not to referee between two parents or to take sides. So:

• don’t use the school to pass messages to the other parent, or to gather evidence;
• don’t put staff in the middle of a row at the gates;
• do make sure the school has both parents’ emergency contacts, and knows who’s collecting when.

A child whose parents both turn up calmly to parents’ evening, even separately, gets a clear message: school is safe, and both mum and dad care.

Where to get real help

• GOV.UK: parental rights and responsibilities: what parental responsibility covers, including education.
• Child Law Advice (Coram): parental responsibility and schools.
• AdviceNow: why parental responsibility matters, including school information.
• Asking the school to keep you in the loop: a letter you can copy and adapt.

Last reviewed: 9 June 2026.