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Still Their Dad

Can my ex stop me seeing the kids because of maintenance?

Short answer: no. Child maintenance and the time you spend with your children are completely separate in law. She cannot stop contact because you are behind on payments, and you cannot stop paying because contact is being blocked.

Why they are separate

Section titled “Why they are separate”
  • Maintenance is money towards the children’s everyday costs, handled by the CMS or a private agreement.
  • Contact is about the children’s welfare, agreed between you or decided by the family court.

Neither one is a lever for the other, and a court takes a dim view of a parent who tries to use one to control the other.

If contact is being stopped

Section titled “If contact is being stopped”

Stopping your payments in response is the worst move. It just lands you in arrears and enforcement, and it puts you in the wrong when you do not need to be. Instead: keep paying, keep a calm dated record, suggest mediation, and if it carries on, the route is the family court (see going to court), not the CMS.

If you are being told to pay more “or else”

Section titled “If you are being told to pay more “or else””

Same thing in reverse. The amount is worked out by the CMS formula, not by what either parent threatens, and time with the children is decided on their welfare, not on money. There is more on how the figure is worked out on child maintenance and the CMS.

Where to get real help

Section titled “Where to get real help”

Last reviewed: 18 June 2026. Check the official links above before you rely on anything here.